Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called...life.
So obviously, Christmas is the secular juggernaut with the most crossover appeal, but Easter—or as my people call it, Bunny Pride—is the more religiously significant holiday. And yet, it’s interesting how much the commercialization of Christmas seems to bleed over into Easter these days. With that in mind, I thought I’d do a casual survey of what’s out there in stores this year...
Easter wreaths! Might as well put that nail in your door to use year-round, I suppose.
And here we have ceramic eggs—for hanging, like tree ornaments. I guess they draw the line at Easter tinsel...?
A gingerbread bird house kit—that’s not at all a repurposed idea, right?
I even found bunny nutcrackers, no less. (Personally, though, I’d rather be thought of as a bunny ballbuster.)
Man, the payload this thing sets you up to expect.
Marshmallow peeps—now you can gag on them in every color!
I wonder, do the unsold ones just get melted down and recycled into chocolate Santas? And vice versa? What’s really going into your children’s gift baskets from year to year, hmm?
I have never felt more successfully camouflaged in public.
Easter cards? Easy to find. Easter cards with good dirty jokes? Annoyingly rare.
Meh. Up-market doesn’t make it high art, you know.
I think I’ve found the title of my autobiography.
Dear God, the McGregors put Peter’s father in the pie. Beatrix, you provincial wench.
Allegedly, this is a bunny in doughnut form. I dunno, could be a narcoleptic unicorn with that degree of detail.
And just to put in a quick word for my live brethren, should you decide to adopt: There are a lot of considerations when it comes to boarding rabbits, and as you can tell from this blog, children need to respect our needs and we don’t like being cooped up full-time—be sure to give us adequate exercise space. And control of the remote.
Boy, talk about a fixer-upper. How would I hang my framed stuff in there?
Okay, lecture over. Easter being a Sunday, let’s get on with brunch already—line up the mimosas and let’s go!
Did I mention rabbits like dessert first? Well, I guess that transcends season, religion, and species anyway...
